Sometimes teens struggle with their day-to-day decisions because of baggage they carry from their childhood. This could be their relationship with others, or simply a bad experience, like bullying or teen rejection. Yvonne Godfrey tackles this issue, to help them move forward with their lives.
At the age of 22, I was feeling unhappy and trapped. I carried a lot of rejection from my dysfunctional childhood and teen years. I saw myself as the victim of other people’s decisions. My life was out of control. But when my mentor shared with me Jim Rohn’s concept of growing my capacity, my life changed dramatically.
Along the way, everyone gets opportunities, suffer teen rejection, and experiences hard- ship. I’ve learned that we don’t always take the opportunities that come our way, and that hardship is not always a disadvantage. It’s how we approach life that makes the difference. As Jim Rohn said, ‘On the ocean of life, you can’t control the wind but you can reset your sail.’
So what can you control? First, let’s take a look at how our minds work and the relationship between our conscious and subcon- scious thinking.
According to the late philosopher Brian Tracy, your subconscious mind is like a huge memory bank. Its capacity is virtually unlimited. It permanently stores everything that has ever happened to you. The function of your subconscious is to store and retrieve data. Its job is to ensure that you respond exactly the way you are programmed. Your subconscious mind makes everything you say and do fit a pattern consistent with your self-concept – your ‘master programme’.
The subconscious mind doesn’t think or reason independently – it is shaped by the commands and experiences that are given and processed by your conscious mind. Just as your conscious mind is like the gardener planting seeds, your subconscious mind can be thought of as the garden, or fertile soil, in which the seeds germinate and grow. Ultimately, your conscious mind commands and your subconscious mind obeys.
Your conscious mind is the gateway to the subconscious part that then acts in accordance with whatever you have put into it or al- lowed into it. There are things you cannot avoid seeing, hearing, or experiencing (e.g. teen rejection) but for the most part, you do have control. Use it!
Below are four ways of taking in information and images. Which ones do you think will build your capacity and your character, and which ones can undermine and even destroy you?
Put a tick next to the positive ones and a cross next to the ones to avoid.
☐ The beauty of nature
☐ Positive and uplifting movies, television and social media
☐ Violence of all kinds including sexual
☐ Sexually deviant acts
☐ Positive and uplifting music with healthy lyrics
☐ Aggressive dark music with destructive, violent and abusive lyrics
☐ Sad melancholic music
☐ Positive conversation
☐ Negative conversation and gossip
☐ Informative and inspiring articles, magazines and books
☐ Trashy magazines and social media
☐ Games that are constructive, fun or educational
☐ Games that are violent or that demean people
After learning how my mind worked, I became deliberate about what went into it. So, for about 30 minutes to an hour each day, five to six days a week, for the past 40 years, I have fed my mind with positive, educational and uplifting material. I can partly at- tribute my success to this practice. I hope you’re also encouraged and challenged to grow yourself into a bigger, more capable and resilient person.
YVONNE GODFREY, IS THE FOUNDER OF MIOMO (MAKING IT ON MY OWN), THE 4-DAY LIFE SKILLS, LEADERSHIP AND INDEPENDENCE PROGRAMME FOR YOUNG ADULTS AGED 16-24 YEARS. SHE IS ALSO THE AUTHOR OF ‘PARENTING YADULTS’ – HOW TO SET UP YOUR YOUNG ADULT FOR INDEPENDENCE AND SUCCESS IN LIFE! AND ‘MAKING IT ON MY OWN’ – 52 SMART WAYS TO SMASH IT IN THE REAL WORLD. YVONNE AND HER HUSBAND SIMON HAVE 2 DAUGHTERS IN THEIR 30S, AND 2 GRANDCHILDREN – 13 AND 2 YEARS OLD. FOR MORE INFORMATION MIOMO.COM.