Our personality traits have a great influence on who we are, how we get along with others and how we get along in life. In some of us, those personality traits seem to be an easy mix, but in others, those traits stand out much more strongly. In children there are four main personality types which can be very obvious.
Choleric – the dominant child
Choleric/Dominant children are often characterised by their strong-willed, determined, and assertive nature. They are natural leaders, highly goal-oriented, and often have a clear vision of what they want. These children can be independent, confident, and sometimes even stubborn or bossy. Parenting a choleric child requires a thoughtful approach to guide their strong personality traits in a positive direction.
Tips for parenting a Dominant child
- Be clear and consistent in enforcing rules and the consequences of breaking them. Explain the reasons behind rules and decisions and this can help them understand and accept the boundaries more easily.
- Provide opportunities for them to lead in positive ways and help them understand the importance of teamwork and cooperation.
- Allow them to make decisions within set limits, giving them a sense of control while also teaching them responsibility.
- Since they can be quick to anger, it’s important to model calm behaviour and teach them strategies to manage their emotions, such as deep breathing or taking a break. It’s also important to validate their emotions and help them put words to what they’re feeling.
Melancholic – the analytical child
Melancholic/Analytical children are thoughtful, detail-oriented, and often introspective. They tend to be deep-thinkers who appreciate structure, order, and precision. These children can be sensitive, empathetic, and have a strong sense of right and wrong. Parenting a melancholic child involves understanding their need for stability, patience, and encouragement, as they often thrive in environments that respect their thoughtful nature.
Tips for parenting an Analytical child
- Keep daily schedules consistent to help them feel secure and in control. If a change in routine is necessary, prepare them in advance to reduce anxiety.
- Give them time to think things through before making decisions. Rushing them can cause stress.
- Emphasise effort and improvement rather than just the outcome. This helps them develop resilience and a growth mindset.
- Recognise and celebrate their achievements, no matter how small, to help build their self-esteem.
Sanguine – the expressive child
Sanguine/Expressive children are lively, sociable, and full of energy. They are often the life of the party, drawing people in with their cheerful, outgoing personalities. These children are typically optimistic, talkative, and love being around others. Parenting a sanguine child involves balancing their need for social interaction and excitement with structure and guidance to help them stay focused and manage their emotions.
Tips for parenting an Expressive child
- Encourage their natural sociability by arranging playdates and involving them in group activities where they can interact with other children. But also provide guidance on social etiquette, such as listening to others, taking turns, and respecting boundaries.
- Visual aids, like charts or calendars, can help them stay on track with daily tasks and responsibilities.
- Provide plenty of opportunities for physical play and movement to help them burn off energy.
- Support their love of creativity by encouraging activities like drawing, writing, or imaginative play. This helps them express themselves in healthy ways.
- Teach them patience and the importance of waiting their turn.Acknowledge their efforts and successes, no matter how small, to boost their confidence and motivation.
Phlegmatic – the loyal child
Phlegmatic/Loyal children are calm, easy-going, and cooperative. They often have a gentle and patient nature, making them reliable and steadfast friends. These children typically prefer harmony and avoid conflict, thriving in stable and peaceful environments. Parenting a phlegmatic child involves nurturing their natural strengths, while encouraging them to step out of their comfort zone and express themselves more freely.
Tips for parenting an Loyal child
- Encourage them to make decisions, even small ones, to build their confidence. Let them choose activities, clothes, or meals to help them develop a sense of autonomy.
- Facilitate opportunities for them to socialise with other children, this helps them build confidence in social settings.
- Teach them how to assert their needs and opinions in a gentle but firm way, helping them avoid being overshadowed by more dominant personalities.
- Show them that it’s okay to face challenges and that difficulties can be overcome. Your example will help them develop resilience and adaptability.
Remember that many of us have traits that overlap the personality types, or identify with multiple traits instead of one over the other. When looking at your child’s personality, it’s about looking at the whole picture and what type your child more prominently fits into. And they’re not stuck with it for life, many experts believe that our personality isn’t fully formed until early adulthood.
