Why you need mum friends

Mum friends support you

Do you have mum friends? Not just friends who also happen to be mums, but friends who support you in your own, well, mummyhood? Mum friends don’t necessarily have to be mums themselves. What mum friends do have to do is believe in you and always remind you what an awesome mum you are. So who are yours?

I have some excellent mum friends, but there are two in particular I’m thinking of as I write this. And neither of them has children of her own, but it doesn’t matter at all, because they are both so incredibly good to me and my kids. One lives in London and the other lives in Wellington, and the thing I am most grateful for about them is that they always, always encourage me. They don’t try to offer me advice or tell me what they think I should be doing (or what they would do if they were in my shoes). They just give me love when being a mum sucks.

And every mum knows that being a mum does suck sometimes. And when you’re in the throes of a parental crisis, you need people to tell you that you’re awesome, that you’re doing your best, that no matter what happens they will still love you. You also need people who will send you adult colouring books with swear words in them (yes, they exist, I now own two and they are AWESOME). And you need people you can rant to and vent to and cry to, who will not then turn around and judge you or gossip about you.

When you find these people, you need to know that they are your tribe, and they are worth their weight in gold. Hold on to them. Send them your kids’ school photos because they WILL put them up on their fridges. Know that you will never be able to repay their kindness to you, because they are pretty much unicorns, but always try to tell them how much they mean to you. Because we can’t do it without our mum friends, near or far.

Katherine Granich

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