Script prompts to help kids feel seen, safe, and supported during a melt down.
When your child is having a meltdown, whether it’s sparked by the wrong colour cup, a scratched knee, or simply a long day, it can be hard to know what to say. Do you stay silent? Offer a solution? Try to talk them out of it?
Here are some powerful, parent-tested scripts to help support your child when they’re at their most dysregulated.
When they’re angry or frustrated
Your child might shout, stomp, or throw things, not because they’re “naughty,” but because they’re overwhelmed. Help them name the emotion and offer co-regulation.
Try saying:
- “You’re having really big feelings. I’m here with you.”
- “It’s okay to be angry. Let’s find a safe way to let it out.”
- “You don’t have to fix everything right now. We’ll figure it out together.”
When they’re sad or disappointed
Maybe their friend couldn’t come over. Maybe their drawing got crumpled. Sadness in kids often comes out sideways. Stay present and validate their feelings.
Try saying:
- “That was really disappointing, wasn’t it?”
- “It’s okay to cry. Crying sometimes helps you feel better.”
- “I’m listening. Do you want to talk or just sit with me for a bit?”
When they’re anxious or scared
Sometimes fear looks like clinginess, sometimes like defiance. Either way, helping your child feel safe is the first step.
Try saying:
- “You’re safe. I’ve got you.”
- “It’s okay to feel nervous. Let’s take some deep breaths together.”
- “Can you show me where the worry is in your body?”
When they lash out
If your child says something like, “I hate you!” or hits in frustration, remember they’re not trying to hurt you, they’re struggling to express what they really feel.
Try saying:
- “That was a big reaction. I think there’s a big feeling underneath.”
- “I know you’re upset. I still love you, even when you’re mad.”
- “It’s okay to tell me you’re upset. But it’s not okay to hurt.”
After the meltdown
Once the storm has passed, it’s time to reconnect and reflect. These are the moments that strengthen your relationship and build resilience.
Try saying:
- “That was hard, and you got through it.”
- “Thank you for talking to me about your feelings.”
- “Next time this happens, what could we try instead?”
Extra Tips for Parents
- Speak slowly and gently, your calm regulates their chaos.
- Don’t expect reasoning mid-meltdown. Emotion first, logic later.
- Get down to their level (physically and emotionally).
- Keep it short, less is more when big feelings take over.
By staying close, staying calm, and offering language your child can use in future moments, you’re teaching emotional intelligence in real time. The goal isn’t to stop the meltdown instantly, it’s to help your child feel safe enough to move through it with you.
